When I think about my future as I parent, the thing I am most afraid of is bullies and mean girls. I don't know if I can survive hurt feelings, hateful words, being on the outside, not being invited, ect. ect. I have a major fear of rejection in life........its a weakness.
I don't remember a significant time in my life that created this fear. I know as a child when me or my sister asked for permission to do something I always asked the responder to follow the rules of "no means yes and yes means no". That way, if the answer is "no" than I don't actually have to hear the word. It's pure craziness.
So now I am terrified of rejection for my children. Here are a couple of conversations I have had recently with my 4 year old.
RL: Mommy we call Kid 1 "blah blah blah" (i couldn't understand what she said but it didn't sound nice).
Me: Why did you call him that?
RL: Because Kid 2 and Kid 3 told me to
Me: We don't have to do what everyone tells us to do
RL: But I want them to be my best friend (insert sad, confused, pitiful face)
Ughhh........I can't take it!! FOUR.YEARS.OLD!
Next convo:
Me: RL, I don't like it when you tell people they are not your best friend anymore. It is mean and it makes people sad
RL: But if someone does something bad then they can't be my best friend
Me: We don't need to say things that make people sad
RL: Well.........then I don't know what to do, mommy.
She is now staring at me and assumes that I will give her everything she needs to face her pre-k classroom. I can't. It it breaks me!!!
My only response in this teary eyed moment........let's just pray about it and ask Jesus.
