Lets Talk about my Baby Boy

I am meeting with Ruddick's Early Steps team today to re-write his goals on his IFSP.  The IFSP is basically a plan of action so that the family and therapist have common goals they are working toward.  He is currently in speech therapy and doing great!!! At one point he had about a 6 months delay in communication, however, he is improving significantly.  I'd say at this point we are on a about a 4 months delay. The fact he has started to imitate consistently has become a huge stride.  He has showed interest in language (he did not do this at the appropriate age) which obviously helps to reach communication goals!!!!  He recently had an OT eval done and we will hear the results of this during the meeting as well.  He has 2 things that he struggles with on the OT side.  He tucks his thumbs in and clenches his fist (mainly in new situations).  This has caused his fine motor skills to be weak.  He also struggles with sensory processing when he gets upset or his needs are not met immediately!!! It is a huge challenge to reorganize himself and pull it together.  This may sound like a typical toddler fit, but it is not.  Its hard to understand unless you see it.

So today lets celebrate baby boy Ruddick.  We don't see alot of pics of him on social media because his sister's personality is so big but he is doing his best to keep up!!!














Jules

Language development

Tonight I was asked to speak to a group of parents at my child care center about language development. Who would really trust my expertise?? I must look really smart!!

Since its on my mind; here are my tips......

#1. Have a conversation with your infants. When you talk in a high pitched voice and they smile and kick their feet. This is a conversation. Respond by increasing your excitement and helps them feel important and begin learning social rules of language

#2. Dont meet the need before allowing the child the opportunity to express himself. Its so easy (especially with multiple children) to quickly respond to a yell or a cry so that we can move on to the next task. Take a moment to encourage the words

For example....your toddler is attempting to climb on the couch. He throws a leg up, hits the cushion repeatedly and yells/whines. Dont put him on the couch just yet. Drop down to his/her level and say "up" with an empasis on the "p". Watch for any attempt to communicate and praise. Not only does this encourage language, but it also supports positive relationships.

#3. Remember that we are responsible for our childrens vocabulary. The more words we expose our children to the more they absorb and retain. Consider asking your older toddlers "whats your hypothesis" instead "what do you think" dont shy away from words you dont think they will understand. Teach the words instead.

Well... Hope you enjoyed randon tips by random jules!!

Jules

Self-Regulation

Every once in a while, I blog about child development.  It is one of my passions that I can never learn enough about.  Knowledge of child development does not equal perfect parenting.  Most of the time it doesn't even equal good parenting, but instead gives me the background to know all the things I mess up on day to day!! :)

Here are a few pieces of information to share today.  In today's world there is a HUGE push for school readiness.  No Child Left Behind, Common Enrollment, ALL kids ready to enter kindergarten with the tools to be successful.  YES it is important that we give our kids the foundation to succeed in an academic setting.  But is also just as important that kids are able to succeed socially and emotionally.  What does that mean? What does that look like?

Ask yourself a question.  How many people do you know that cannot read? Most likely not many or none.  Another question.  How many people do you know that cannot control their temper?  I bet you can name a few, right?!  The ability to control your emotions begins in early childhood and is called self regulation.

Even in infancy playing suspense games such as "I'm gonna getcha" and "Peekaboo" teach children how to regulate their emotions.  As they get older, parents should help identify the feeling for the child and validate that emotion.  "I know you're mad and that's okay".......from there we offer options of "safe ways" to be mad.  If they are throwing toys, give another choice like going outside and yelling.  Paying attention to how our children handle emotions are just as important as teaching ABCs.

What about handling my own emotions when the kids are out of control?!?  Let me tell you, my 1 year old is HARD.  I mean really hard.  From the time he was born, he struggled.  He was poked in the NICU for 7 days after birth (born a month early which probably disrupting his comfort in the womb).  Shortly after, he contracted RSV and struggled to breathe.  Then right back to hospital and poked again.  In his 14 1/2 month life he has been sick 75% of the time.  He has struggled.

Beyond his health, he is a hard kid.  His struggle in life has probably contributed to his high maintenance need for attention.  So many things have gotten in his way to safely explore the environment around him, therefore he is very particular on the way he wants his world to look.  This makes it hard for me as a parent to control my own emotion of frustration.  On most days, Ruddick cries more than he laughs.  Fortunately, I learned something new yesterday that has just been released in studies.  They way we respond to our kids in self proclaimed "distress" affects the brain!

Let me give a real life example taken from the Emory household.  Ruddick just threw himself on the floor for no reason and is now upset because he lightly touched his head on the rug.  He is crying loudly.  I, of course, pick him up and comfort him.  I am now holding him for the next 10 minutes trying to put him down every couple of minutes, but he kicks his legs and holds on to me tightly each unsuccessful try.  Well now I really have to go to the potty.  I'm going to have to put him down and listen to him cry.  As he cries I am constantly saying "Its okay", "Your okay", "I know, but your okay".  He doesn't respond and continues to get TICKED OFF.  Guess what happens....I get stressed and start saying "Ruddick....you.are.fine...It is O-KAY". Stress equals stress - parent to child.

New studies reveal that we should change our language.  Replace the natural tendency to say "It's okay" to "You Are Safe".  Much like we tell our kids when something is NOT safe, lets tell them when they ARE safe.  According to the studies, these words change the path of neurons in the brain. Interesting, right?  It also changes OUR stress level.  Say the phrase "You are Safe" a few times and try to say it in a more intense stressful type of voice.  It feels weird doesn't it?

So that is my challenge for myself and to whoever read this!! Try it out.....you are safe!

Intentional Play - Language and Literacy

This blog is a little different than any I have written to date.  If you don't know me personally, my back ground is child development.  I got my masters at LA Tech, many years ago and worked in the field for about 5 years before moving to the college campus.  I absolutely love all aspects of child development and hope to move back in that direction one day.  I love research and learning new things to help me get through parenting challenges.  So bear with me on this one, I hope you like a little change of pace.  Let me know what you think.

About a year ago, I blogged about trying to create intentional play scenarios for RL.  This was before the birth of R so even though at the time it seemed difficult to fit this in to daily life, now it seems almost impossible.

I function in life by planning, organizing, and writing things down.  I absolutely will never remember, show up, complete, succeed, or accomplish without the specific task written down.  For me this includes, what I want to do with my kids.  How I want to raise them, what I want to teach them, fun traditions for holidays......a serious obsession with planning and writing.  I wish that I could do things on the fly, but attempts always equal disappointment somewhere. People place judgement on moms who forget important things...."how did she forget his soccer game?, how did she forget his shoes? did she bring him to school today?"  This could totally be me if something comes up to threaten my consistent schedule of life.

I am not ashamed of this and have learned to embrace it.  I mean, at 33 I have to accept myself at some point, right??

Bringing me back to my point.  Intentional play.  As a working mom, I constantly struggle with providing RL  enough learning opportunities.  I trust and PRAY that she is learning in "school" (daycare), but I believe it is a parents job to encourage and support outside learning not just be dependent it on it.  One of my focuses with RL is Language and Literacy.

She has a speech delay due to 11 ear infections when she was younger.  Yes, ELEVEN.  She is improving, but certainly still needs continous support in this area, as well as, literacy.  Unfortunately, my child is not a fan of books. :(  I could totally review and criticize all of the decisions I have made along the way that lead her to this (not enough reading, not providing an example, too much technology), but instead I am trying to move forward before it gets worse!! Literacy is such a HUGE influence on school readiness, successfully adapting to school, self-confidence, and overall well-being.  Because of all of this, I know that I must be intentional on supporting further language development and literacy outcomes.

After doing some research and skimming over the obvious.....reading....talking......pointing everyday things out, I came across some perhaps "obvious" suggestions that I am just not always great at doing.

1) Ask open ended questions - For example..."What tiny little bugs! Where do you think they are going?"  This seems easy enough, but sometimes life buries the time just to intentionally stop and ask questions.

2) Make up rhymes, recite child-friendly poems.  - Sure this is a great idea! Now, think of a poem or rhyme right now, real quick.  Crickets...crickets.  I couldn't think of one either.  I need to be intentional and let myself rhyme silly words while cooking dinner.

3) Celebrate their attempts at independence - Yes we say "Good Job", "You did it" all of the time.  These are easy ways to quickly celebrate.  However, we need to also identify what they accomplished.  "You climbed high, you are growing and getting stronger" or "I love the way you set the table, you are helping your bother learn".  Intentional to notice the action and encourage it.

4) "Play" with literacy - Encourage pretend play.  Use props, dress up, brooms, grocery and make up stories with your child.  Help them understand order, imagination, new words, new ideas. Intentionally sit down and play outside of the box.

5) Encourage your child to think logically - take the stories of the book and allow your child to think about the situation and determine what will come next.  Not by memorization, but by logical thinking.  Intentionally choose a book that sets up this scenario for your child.

My key word is intentional......this is just how I do life.  I have to think through it, plan it, write it down, and set a goal for success.

Thank you for hanging in with me if you made it to the sentence.  I enjoyed writing this blog as child development is one of my passions.  I hope that sharing my struggles and thoughts are helpful to at least one person that just feels like they are trying to keep life together. I know I feel like that everyday!!!